Seasonal Thoughts
Original handwritten of mine
Winter is so cold and lonely,
but I still don’t have chocolate in my hand to comfort me.
Summer is hot, everybody is complaining,
but never realize that there’s ice and cold water in the fridge,
how fortunate!
Rainy days feel like winter,
it reminds me of how cold I have been these past seasons.
Fall, I don’t have much to say,
but…
Falling leaves remind me that falling on the ground
is NOT where your journey stops.
because….
Spring will make you realize that it is a brand-new start,
again.
Originally written in paper
-Josephine CE
Arrogances
Imagine sitting in front of the window, looking outside, observing trees and the beautiful skies.
The trees that swinging side to side because of wind. The loudest noises from the inside lingering in my ears always irritate me. I cannot imagine how someone manages to stand still despite the inside of him decaying. The smell of his breath defines the sword in his words; the scent of his unbearable personality influenced his main claw to hook and sway her slowly into the path of destruction.
Today, the insult I have heard to portray my deceased father is inexcusable.
“He’s old as f*ck!”
“ Despite many repetitive questions to ask an adult about behaving as a child, the closed-minded one will never lend an ear and take accountability. “
Scratch Absorbent but Resistant inside
Parenting is more manageable when two people are willing to listen.
In the long run, I have let myself marinate in a migraine situation.
The person’s past is NOT what you deserve to deal with, but it somewhat matches your future.
People often think, “We are so in common,” but never realize the red flags behind those smiles.
A lot of women don’t wake up if everything is too late, to RUN.
In my past experiences, I almost lost my sanity due to manipulation, gaslighting, and blame fullness.
I learned the hard way that words don’t really matter if the actions do NOT match.
It doesn’t matter how much gasoline to put on a fire just to make a big blow off the scene because there is a right time for the right show.
A sea may be calm, but its power will roar when it’s time to ROAR.
“Humble lady, Player’s mindset”
A tiring day,
but never-ending dreams.
A Playboy mode,
desperate wins,
Aggressive consequences.
A night that could end up good,
I just chose to preserve my piece.
Paper note written date: August 5, 2024
TSR casino
“Cycle of Emotions”
All of us have moments that we laugh when something laughable, we cried if something unbearable happened, we feel anger when someone did something unacceptable, we feel love when someone shows love through actions and words.
We often forget to show kindness when we feel comfortable and happy. It takes effort to treat others well, especially if we dislike them and hold onto anger. Gratitude, discipline and honesty have lost their importance, and we overlooked the unimportant, we take many things for granted and give less appreciation on simple things.
“Look what’s the inside, but not the outside”
-My Mother
“My boss’s sharpened mouth “
I wrote this piece when I was working as a service crew, I completely lost my respect for this specific boss that carelessly throwing hurtful words, acted unprofessional, and lack of compassion towards my co-workers.
“Every piece of words you’ve said penetrated deep in my flesh and flows into my bones.
The mark of pain cannot fade away, and it’s unforgotten.
Your unreal apology isn’t going to erase the scars you’ve marked to my reputation.
The highest pitched of your voice, shook my lips, and I can’t even move my mouth due to fear.
Despite I let out the emotions, flows like a river, your arrogance infuriates me.
I’m just a human, a person like you, that can make mistakes.”
Y 2017
It’s not as easy as turning the page
Today, I’ve felt a heavy rain coming down from the cloud, I looked up, and I saw the cloud with a heavy heart. I asked with a genuine voice, “What’s wrong? No words, then I just looked down and walked away.
Same like the cloud, I never got the chance to fully pour myself out. It has been a challenging journey, even just stepping an inch, feels like an eternity of trying, worrying and pain.
“It’s not that easy like you’re turning a page.”
For someone who only stepped on my shoes, but never get to really be on my shoes, I would have been more considerate of every seconds.
Folks that loves to give depending on his mood, isn’t really helping.
Fogs that blinded your sight, winds that moves your heart, that chills will gives you numbness , every time it passes by. I just hope to see the sunset with a hot choco in my hands, and feel the wisdom while magnificent sun rays shining.
If it rains, enjoy every drop of it.
This is my own drawing. Representing some of the human’s anxieties in life.
Sometimes, I can’t think of a positive outcome of this storm.
It just feels like unending problems; I feel like It’s hard to cope with everyday tasks.
Sometimes, I can’t stop questioning everything: why? and how? Sometimes, it feels like “I can do it!.” but also sometimes I feel like , “Am I still be able to make it?”
A wise woman said to me, “Aim for perfection; settle for excellence.”
Life’s anxieties aren’t for the weak, but it’s for the strong, willing to gain knowledge.
Knowledge to do what’s right and a positive attitude can go along with this.
-JOSEPHINE CE
Dear Everyday…
Everything begins with an idea. That can go further if you make it happen.
Today, I am so grateful that our almighty Father heard my prayer. I’m grateful to have food to eat, to have the freedom to go somewhere, to learn to have wisdom, and to have a roof over my head.
I may be lying if I said life is so easy; each and everyone knows it is NOT. I still struggle, especially mentally. Having the feeling of worrying how I will see my kids, is hard. It has been a month since I have lived at the shelter; I thought about getting a cat or dog as a company. I miss having a pet.
Sincerely,
Josephine CE